First we take Manhattan...

2006-06-26T17:00:00.000-04:00

now that everyone is trickling back home it's not so impressive to be writing from new york. i relinquish any ideas i had of postings.

bye

do you want to upDATE me?

2006-05-10T12:17:00.000-04:00

so i don't think this is the appropriate place to blog this. It's not about New York. Or Tourism. Or any of my friends. It is about me though. And I happen to be privy to the fact that i'm one of the most important things about New York to most of you. So, I just wanted to update you. I haven't done that in a while.
Julia and I moved in together. So where we were once attatched at the hip, now our cats are. Yes, we're old maids, two cats and shelves overstocked with books. It's pretty sad but we hope our lives will pick up soon. And in our neighborhood it's pretty likely they will.
I'm working as a receptionist for a PR firm in Chelsea. Not like fun PR with models and prospective new husbands but rather an "emerging technology" firm. Blah blah, interesting stuff though since most of it takes place through internet technology and that's always a strange/interesting/thought-provoking subject.
The summer pretty much has in store lots of work, paying parents back for various things intermingled with a bunch of 40's and bandshell concerts. I may be going to Mexico, although for those of you who know the imbecile I made those plans with, who knows if either of us will follow through. Definitely want to do something though (i.e. go away) in late August.
I'm reading "This Side of Paradise" and plan to make it a summer of reading about rich North Easterners with fabulous sex-lives and pretty good hair. "Magnificent Ambersons" is next at the suggestion of my grandma (although, admittingly less so than myself) roommate.
that is it.
I have a bad sunburn. It's starting to itch.
I miss our expat friends.

what a lady

2006-04-28T03:13:00.000-04:00

Jane Jacobs is dead. When I have money I'll get a tattoo of her strangling Robert Moses. It will simply read: Rest in Power.

paix out bebe

2006-03-09T16:17:00.000-05:00

we are just going out to europe for a minute.

so long new york, bonjour paris (und Berlin...)

shy town, warm yourself up to me.

2006-03-06T01:30:00.000-05:00

i, the little blogger that could, traversed the east part of the country to gain headway in the midwest. whilst abroad i found the chicago version of our sweatbox. it was crowded, it was sweaty, it was loud and people were drunk. i have also managed to hang out with some cool kids (dare i say some are cooler than us new yorkers? i feel we should adopt them, it isn't fair to let the second city up any cool antes), obtain frost bite, shovel snow (or at least witness a blizzard), almost get arrested at white hen and bogart the cd player at yet another party.

things i've noticed about chicago

- lack of dunkin donuts leads to the fuzz chillin at the white hen. but, as it turns out, the sweet guy at white hen don't like the five-oh and therefore sell us minors beer anyway.

- loud art rock bands can play loud shows in second floor walk-ups with out the cops coming... this doesn't happen in new york.

- pink eye is spreading there like it is here... fast.

- three word band names are still in.

- i mistakenly said that chicago was west of the mississippi. im apparently lost. i should've known though, no chesterfields here.

- stogs=squares.

- five in the morning is still fun here. just takes longer to get home.

in reference to more dancing, more free drinks, barbacks, last call again and love in a bathroom.

2006-02-24T18:04:00.000-05:00

or at least in theory. i dont think any sex was had in the bathroom. i just though we should update you that once again we ended up till last call at lakeside. and anna, i made a fool of myself asking if linnzi bartends there. she doesn't, apparently she sings there once or twice.

i'm sorry kids, the photobooth didn't work. but when its running again julias got the hook up. in fact, with barback 'friendliness' we better be getting some good free drinks.

also- we're the novelty act there. we draw the crowds and keep them drinking. if you love dancing and alcohol, we're your girls. and lakeside is the place

in reference to icedancing without skates, jerry lee lewis and our new haunt.

2006-02-22T01:38:00.000-05:00

to all of you abroad, we've scoped out the new hang out. here is your new favorite place: LAKESIDE LOUNGE

spent a good 6 hours there. only the first two of those were planned.

evidence:

we have a date with our boyfriends on friday. alex belongs in the old 97's and enio's platonic though he desires so much more.

medal count, by country

2006-02-17T22:07:00.000-05:00

Ah l’olympiques! Where lifelong dreams are realized and, for the not so lucky, smashed into a million little pieces. You laugh, you cry, you drink, you cry some more. Sometimes, you wear an orange shirt. The whole night. You probably wake up in it too.

Oh, it’s from Express Men’s.

So, after Katie Couric bought Thompson Plyler’s doppleganger, Access Hollywood’s foreign correspondent, new buttery-soft leather loafers (moving one step closer to achieving every suburban soccer mom’s dream of achieving Euro-chic – for herself (i.e. Burberry plaid skirt), the man in her life (the loafers, bien sûr!) and probably the kids and dogs too.), the Games really got started.

It was a long night, we have the RealAudio file, here are the highlights, en notre opinion:

In the co-ed boot comparison competition, no winner was declared. This was mostly due to the indifferent drunkenness of the judges. We suppose the Republic of Express Men’s can have it, their orange shirts were SNAZZY!

In the men’s chair figure-skating, there was a lot dissatisfaction on the lack of “tighten-up” in the spins of their active alter egos. The latter also displayed a serious concentration of G-force in the gluteus maximus (which was a favored landing style fore the quadruple lutz triple triple axel double scoop ice cream cone *).

In the karaoke competition, the Crash Test Dummies took the People’s choice Awards, though the critics favored Garth Brooks and The Godfather Theme (techno-Soviet mix).

Our condolences go out oto Yurivevevenikov Rachmaniziskinoffsky, whose father died tragically in an unfortunate accident involving a tundra flood, a hair-dryer, and the reknonwed Russian electrical power infrastructure. RIP Leninokskayapopozao Rachmaniziskinoffsky.

A night to remember certainly – a night one could never forget. We played the games, we played to win. Some of us went home with nothing, some of us went home with 30, 000, 000 free hours of AOL (2nd place gets a CD of iTunes 4.3). Our torch can never be put out, the flame burns from within (though that could be heartburn).

Tune into the qualifying rounds of the Guitar Hero Event, where Dan “Bone-zone” Carbone faces stiff competition from brash rookie Ryan “the Dirty Tomato” Marland. Saturday, 10 PM EST.

*If anyone finds a gold chain around the rink, please return it to Bulgaria. It doesn’t matter where, they’re all gonna just pawn it to buy their way out anyway.

herzlich gluckwunsch zum Valentinstag!

2006-02-15T17:12:00.000-05:00

ah yes, the quaint tradition of America -- a whole day devoted to:
a) charming your significant other enough to get into their pants
b) trying to desperately get into a stranger's (usually drunk) pants
c) being sad that you are not capable of either of the above options and resorting to chocolate/ice cream/other fat-ass favorites (thereby further distancing yourself further from getting anywhere near the interior of desired pants)

anyway, we actually had a hell of a lot of fun. we went to a concert (accompanied by the lovely flynnamin) where we were the only ones who got the joke. we were also the only ones with "gatorade" that enhanced both our energy levels and our inebriation. then on to lucy's, where we played a ruthless game of take-no-prisoners pool. we're thinking about hustling around town. we also had a narrow escape from the president, VP, and treasurer of the "lonely hearts club" who wanted to whisk us and their receding hairlines off to Niagara (bar, not falls). finished up with some pizzaz fries. always a good choice.

all in all plus a good holiday.

goodnight and goodluck.

"you said you never played this game before!"

2006-02-13T00:23:00.001-05:00

so it's snowing in nyc....loook! isn't it fun! don't you wish you were here?

also. ju ju and i played pool on friday night.we kicked ass.

because black people don't like cold places

2006-02-12T21:01:00.000-05:00

THE OLYMPIC (drinking) GAMES

1) Every day, choose a country. At the end of the day, you are obligated to drink a full drink for every medal won. These drinks can be drunk throughout the evening.

2) During each race, choose a country. If your guy comes in 1st out of 4, take 4 drinks, if 2nd, 3 drinks, etc. If no one's country places first, who ever is closest has to take the delegate number of drinks for rank as well as the drinks for those countries who placed higher.

3) For instances of ridiculous and/or inscrutable commentary, have a shot.

4) For Harry Potter references, you have to have a whole drink.

5) For ironic discrepancies between commentary and performances occuring simultaneously (i.e. talking about how great so-and-so lands triple axles whilst so-and-so fucks it up), take a shot.

6) The heavenly appearance of Bode Miller's face, take a shot. Unless he is competing, that would be silly.

7) Commercials that reference the Olympics, take a shot.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

update:

2006-02-10T10:52:00.000-05:00

i'm famous

Put a cold spell on this city -- I want to wear snow pants again

2006-02-05T17:48:00.000-05:00

As soon as I got used to the freezing temperatures, everything changed. It feels like spring, sidewalks are clear and I have no excuse to wear my designer ski mask, save sociable terrorism and robbing banks (perhaps). But as I recall, it's still 2006, and I have promises and resolutions to keep. That twisted past is history.

My hair has gotten pretty long, and I dyed it black. Accordingly, I must now acquire a leather jacket. Having studied the Ganga River leather trade, I'm particularly interested in supporting this fucking awesome industry. Many see this as a form of eco-environmental dumping on the third world. I don't even know what that means, so it must not be relevant. Merging an industrial waste dump with a sacred river seems like the best solution for everyone. I love multi-use spaces. Perhaps Zaq or Anna will bring me back something awesome.

Lots of people are making plans to go to Europe over spring break. Though a series of events left me in possession of world-wide round-trip airplane tickets, I believe I'll be making other plans. It'd be a nice time to do something domestic.

I seem to have lost my passport in a train tunnel. A hobo probably found it. Chances are, this transient freight rider has been detained by a NSA agent and upon presenting my passport as identification my name has been added to the infamous no-fly list. At least I'm in good company: Cat Stevens and every single non-white person in the whole world. At least the hobo has acquired: a passport book with very few stamps, a funny story to tell at the oil drum hobo campfire, freshly dyed black hair, a playful demeanor, and good credit.

Leaving the country could prove difficult.

This weekend was fairly relaxed. Thursday night was nuts. I can't talk about it. Julia and Kait mentioned Friday night. Saturday night was spent building bikes with Peter and Lauren.

New projects have been consuming lots of time. The latest project includes "flying" and does not include massive amounts of PCP.

"do you think it was a matter of galactic importance, and mr. roboto saved him from an otherwise inescapable doom?"

2006-02-04T19:00:00.000-05:00

Last night, in an effort to reintroduce the dance party into our lives, we headed back out to bushwick, which, as it seems is quite the happenin' place. Jason Sigal, from Bennington and Brown, was playing a show with his band, Get Him Eat Him. So, ju ju and I plowed our way there, thank god the L was running. interesting venue, ju ju and i pondered the implications of lighting the audience better than the performers. after we figured out that no one was dancing and we downed a sparks and pbr, we left to go and meet up for a quick night cap with will and paul.
the best part of the night, by far was when ju ju and i were winding down at 171 avenue a and ms. zoe friedman waltzes in, sauced and highly entertaining. playing, for us, what she considers to be the best song ever made, 'mr. roboto', she contemplated the storyline behind the acclaimed piece. (see title). we were then graced by the sick and twisted story of zoes sex life, including the many games her and lannon play in order to 'spice things up'. these included racial slurs, auschwitz references and zoe pretending to be a 'retarded girl looking for a creamy lollipop'. alltogher, hilarity. she swears she was joking... something tells me the censorship faction of the brain is pretty compromised after a pitcher and a half of yuenling to your face.
a rendition by our gracious hostess of "one" closed the night as i kicked her out of my bed.

thank you very much, mr. roboto.

60 degrees and you all wish you were back here, fuckheads!

2006-02-03T17:45:00.000-05:00

hey y'all! we're not dead yet! just boring as fuck. gonna hit up a dance party (thanks to jason sigal of brown university). if we by any chance have some crazy sex experience or die, we'll update you.

es tut mir leid

2006-01-30T23:03:00.000-05:00

you know, this city really can give one a rather intense superiority complex. just walking down the street, you may realize, "well hot damn, julia, there are a few million unlucky bastards who think deboise is haute couture. and hot damn, look at you. nice rack." and then flash forward, and it's totally acceptable to a) be sort of condescending to people asking you directions (simply because you know the answer to all their geographical questions) and b) to drink a botttle of wine alone in your apartment, reading d.h. lawrence (trendy author of the semester {for this blog anyway })and listening to a rare 1928 recording of richard wagner's Tristan und Isold. i mean honestly, maybe i'm just displacing my feeling of well-being that only belongs to alcohol onto cultural artifacts, but come on, i dont think you can argue that many teenage hipsters wouldn't revel in this environment.

basically, all my 17-year-old dreams have come true.

then again, maybe i should just go to sleep a) out of greatness and fear of underwhelming formerly mentioned quality. or b) because i have new dreams to have before my reality progresses. to the NEXT LEVEL. ausgezeichtnet!

in case you forgot what we looked like

2006-01-30T22:12:00.000-05:00

indulge me in this extremely personal, in no way new york specific post

2006-01-28T17:19:00.000-05:00

there are many things i dislike about babysitting charlie, 8 and nick , 7. the hangover mixed with children wrastling me at 1030 in the morning, the yelling, the screaming, the temper tantrums, the preparing of meals and the awkward mother who lingers over my shoulder. but i think the one thing that is really causing all of this, the one problem, is that these kids are just not interesting enough. i feel that they need to rebuild their peresonalities, maybe read a little dostoyevsky, a little d.h. lawrence, even. they need to expand their horizons, broaden their outlook. i think the benefits of watching an early neo realism flick are obvious and would rectify quite a number of behavioural problems, including.... the top offener being boring. i do not find any of these requests over the top, unrealistic or as, one may say, dellusional. instead, i find them a new status quo, a novel way of whipping rich spoiled brats into shape. some writing exercises regarding their thoughts on death may also be included.

maybe i'll play keyboards

2006-01-26T09:45:00.000-05:00

we may or may not have found a drum set on the streets of Brooklyn last night. we may or may not have had a late-night jam session, though our combined musical ability is one step below mediocre. it's all so deliciously ambiguous!

auf weidersehen!

plans for the weekend?

2006-01-25T11:13:00.000-05:00

Hey man, so this semester's been strictly dullsvile. well head on out to brooklyn where the girls are cherries and the music swings.

we got the be bop, you bring your own tea, wine and notebooks it's gonna be outtasight. make the scene, and bring a cat or two, ya dig?

(disclaimer: while sunglasses, saxophones and existentialist texts are not required they are strongly encouraged.)

all y'all abroad should make the trip home for this.

"Hey, my name is Tom, what's yours?"

2006-01-21T10:47:00.000-05:00

For the first time in some time, we made an expedition to the native settlements. After a rousing round of drinks and a game of pool at our favorite new watering hole, Lucy's, the gang followed a lead to a "party" downtown. Supposedly the host was charming his peers with the offer of free vodka and RedBull and Sparks beverages. Free is free, so off we went. As we climbed the stairs to the apartment, things were suspiciously muted. I thought to myself, "Is this a surprise party....for us?!?!" but, helas, twas not the case. After a rather awkward five minutes of greetings and standing around, we packed it in there and headed off yet again to the "Orchard Bar". Note, the only fruits at this establisment are some of the more flamboyant clientele. However, despite early omens of doom, as soon as we found the dance floor, we found a home away from home.

Hello, My Internet Friends!

2006-01-20T21:38:00.000-05:00

I have arrived safely in New York. Everything I have experienced and learned up to now has prepared me for this odyssey. I am not in New York City. I am New York City.

This is the land of opportunity and the land of plenty. Giant bottles of malt liquor cost about $3 here (Ballantine's and Colt 45 are only $2). Now, only a few dollars lighter I completely understand NWA's poignant lyrics: "Olde English 800, cause that's my brand / Take it in a bottle, 40, quart, or can / Drink it like a madman, yes I do / Fuck the police and a 502." As I have become fond of saying: If it's good enough for Easy E, it's good enough for me. I look forward to many more cultural revelations in the next four months, and even contemplate a trip west to learn why "Compton's in the motherfucking house."

My native New York City friends have warned me to avoid the bars and clubs tonight. Apparently the Bridge and Tunnel Crowd takes over. Is this some sort of street gang? While I think that is a stupid name for a gang, I am careful to harmonize my opinions with others.

I am beginning to love this CRAZY American culture and promise to keep you posted. Until I blog again my friends!

"you have to get internet so that i'm not the only one posting"

2006-01-20T17:43:00.000-05:00

it's springtime in new york, kiddies! as i waltzed the streets of new york in my hunting gear i began to get excited about terrific weather. and what better way to spend terrific weather than smoking cigarettes in the park, just like the beginning of last semester.
a solitary semester, in most senses. i've burned a few bridges as far as having people to hang out with other than ju ju. thank god she has multiple personalities, it's kind of like having five people around at all times.
today we bought books

kaits books --> french/german phrase book, elmore leonard short stories, this side of paradise, boward and pecuchet (which has a glossary in the back with phrases such as this; old person: concerning a flood, storm, etc. old people in the country side can never remember seeing one like it.)

i also bought a calender with antique maps. it was two dollars. i win.

julias books--> the plumed serpent, the metamorphoses, moravagine. i dont know anything about these books.

tonight, dave weisburger maybe. maybe brooklyn. monday starts my official housesitting stint in k-town.

new york plusses and minusses part 1 of ___

2006-01-19T23:13:00.000-05:00

+ crazy book dude outside library
+ crazy dudes on the subway who know a lot of presidential trivia and call themselves "The Newspaper Man"
+ cozy apartments that are ages away from the streets you can hear below
+ free wine at art openings

- wind tunnels
- sitting in the library doing homework listening to grad students bitch and moan.
- dirtiest rain ever

i like to keep things at least a little bit on the + side.

TODAY I WENT TO SCHOOL AND MY TEACHER WAS SO NICE AND WE LEARNED LOTS OF STUFF ABOUT LETTERS AND NUMBERS AND SCIENCE!!!!! AND THEN WE HAD RECESS!!!

2006-01-17T18:56:00.000-05:00

first day of school. just a few appendages to kait's entry:

a) my german teacher is a stone fox, if you didn't get it.
b) my archaeology class is pretty sweet, though there is a pretty awkward roster of people i know in it.
c) kait and i are really good at being poor
d) kait and i are really good at crossword puzzles
e) kait and i are really good at superiority
f) i bought tickets to paris for spring break european madness. kait's neglected to mention that she more or less has hers too.

too cool for school.

2006-01-17T13:58:00.001-05:00

So it's halfway through the first day of school and I think i'm falling asleep. We woke up this morning for the brisk, yet cold, walk to school. As I dropped Julia off at her first class I shoved her plastic lunchbox in her hand and hoped her teachers would be nice. I headed off to use the free internet we all pay 40 grand for. After finally finishing registering I made my way to my first class "Psychoanalytic Perspective". It's a theater studies class based on Freudian and Lacanian theory. As I walked in I remembered what college is all about: Looking better and being ten times more interesting than the person next to you. Thank god the theater program never handed out that memo; everyone in the class sucked my ass. No, but actually. It's ok though, I just did a lot of sulking. I'm practicing my sulking skills. They're working wonders, really.
Julia and I found each other and headed to Strand where she found yet another book of old, flowery prose while she told me about her Texanian, German teacher. The odds look good for a Professorly lay in the near future.
Because recitation for monster class is cancelled there's only one more class left today. Wish me luck.

you know, all of my songs are superficial

2006-01-15T13:44:00.000-05:00

headed over to bushwick last night to attend what was billed as an "art party". which always leaves plenty of room for skepticism. Will S. and the two of us hitched the L, then a shuttle bus, then at said function we found ourselves, sans Nic, who had invited us, as he was performing. it became evident early on, as wine glasses clinked delicately and generally unattractive people tried to get into each other's pants via "intelligent conversation" that this was not quite our scene, and any doubts were banished when we were forced to watch a short film about "the painting of the nothing". however, we take these kind of things in stride, batting about wittily disparaging comments about our fellow-party goers, stealing fancy microbrewed beers, perhaps even howling like coyotes from time to time. 4 hours later, the gang was on the road back to manhattan, kait flagging down the shuttlebus in classic hot chick hitchhiker style -- showing a little leg. certainly brightened our driver's night.

kait joins...

2006-01-11T16:23:00.000-05:00

so yeah, new york is a lot like going abroad. see, i have to use internet cafes (a.k.a dunkin donuts) to gain internet access. i love going abroad!!!

Mission Statement:

2006-01-10T21:42:00.000-05:00

Just in case you were wondering what happens while you all are away, we stayed.